Just four simple words yet when combined a powerful & complex question emerges. This is the very same question I pose as I begin every new mirror project. However, I first make this request to the mirror’s future recipient by saying “I want your gut response. Don’t overthink this.”
When given too much deliberation, replies rarely represent the respondent’s true opinions but instead will often reflect what I would consider a “socially acceptable” answer. Such responses vary greatly but might include what the individual has always claimed as their favorite color, some variation of the Pantone of the current year or maybe even hues to coordinate with the space in which they envision hanging their mirror. I even encountered one young lady whose first words referenced a conversation with her closest friends about “power colors.” However, if the individual I am working with trusts me (& themself) enough to answer quickly and honestly, the response can be downright magical!
Recently, a mother brought her adolescent daughter to me in order to begin the mirror design process. This delightful young lady possesses not only an effervescent energy, but also a subtle confidence rarely seen these days. Not only is she the youngest child & only daughter, but the family is in the midst of a large construction project, so this sweet soul shares both bathroom space and precious time with the entire family. This mom was seeking to provide her daughter with a mirror that would give her daughter a private space to get ready each morning, as well as a special piece reflective of the girl’s special energy.
Beginning as I always do, I said, “I am going to ask you a question and I don’t want you to think about it too long. If possible, just say the very first thing that comes to mind. Does that make sense?”
Miss E. (E. for effervescent) nodded eagerly.
I continued, “What color is beautiful?”
With a contemplative roll of her eyes, Miss E. hesitated for a fraction of a second before replying “Blue.”
I waited for a moment, unsure if she was going to expand upon this thought. Just when I thought I’d have to prompt her for a more specific shade, she continued, “Dark blue, like the color of the sky above the mountains just before the sky goes dark.”
Now we were getting somewhere!
As I was starting to take a few notes, Miss E. started speaking again, “And that color makes me think of butterflies.”
With this statement, her mom, who was sitting about 10 feet away, actively engaged in conversation with my adult daughter, spun around & made eye contact with me. It was only later that I learned that this was the very first time her daughter had ever spoken of an interest in butterflies. This was particularly poignant because the mom & I recently had a lengthy discussion surrounding my newfound love of butterflies, a symbol of metamorphosis or rebirth. More about that later……
I was practically giddy over the inspiration this Miss E. was providing me. However, she wasn’t finished just yet…
“Although…..” Miss E. drew this next part out with such flair I would have thought she was being dramatic if I hadn’t witnessed her excitement unfold for myself. She became thoroughly caught up in the creative process without even realizing it. “Sometimes people tell me that I am like ‘two things.”
“Two things?” I said, seeking clarification.
“Yeah…and they even say my eyes change color, turning almost a golden color. And that color makes me think of sunflowers.” Now Miss E. was practically glowing. At that moment, part of me wished I could bottle up just a fraction of her enthusiasm to be able to share it with the countless women I have encountered who have lost their own sparkle.
At this point I had goosebumps; while I had no idea WHAT the plan would be, I had no doubt that I was about to embark on something special. And while I am well into this project, it is nowhere near complete. However, this conversation has been replaying in my mind for weeks now.
While the How & Why behind my creative process will be a topic for a future post, I want to leave you with this. At what point do we lose our natural effervescence? Our zest for life? When did it become our default response to give “socially acceptable answers” when asked for our personal thoughts or opinions? And last but certainly not least…. When and why do we become uncomfortable with seeing ourselves for the beautiful creations we are?
I have asked numerous women (& plenty of men too) the same initial question I posed to Miss E. I’m sure it comes as no surprise that it stumps people time & time again. If asked whether something external of ourselves is beautiful, we can typically answer that type of question with ease. Yet connecting the word “beautiful” to our own identity, or in this case a mirror for personal use, we become uneasy, self-deprecating and even sometimes downright cruel. This is something I truly hope to change, one mirror at a time.
So tell me in the comments, without giving it too much thought: What color is BEAUTIFUL?